November 2010
1 post
October 2010
1 post
Easter Egg of the Day: Head over to the Brigham... →
thedailywhat:
Enter the Konami Code (up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a), and kiss the next twenty minutes of your life goodbye.
[reddit.]
I’m reglogging this, just so I don’t lose it. That is probably why I don’t have a boyfriend.
September 2010
1 post
Losing Weight in the City: Things That Are Awesome... →
runonempty:
losingweightinthecity:
Yup, it’s going to be all marathon all the time over here until at least 10/11/10. (Also, if you’re new here, you might want to check out my top posts page.)
I’ve been complaining a lot lately about marathon training, so I thought I’d tell you why it’s awesome. Tomorrow, I’ll tell you, in…
Yes to most of this, but especially:
Sightseeing—I love seeing...
August 2010
2 posts
July 2010
1 post
April 2010
4 posts
"What Is a Man?" →
That was the subject line of an e-mail from Marie Claire gracing my inbox today. My first reaction was, “Good question.”
“That kid looks like Justin Bieber!”
– Me
(Just to clarify, I wasn’t implying that the resemblance turned me on. But just the simple fact that I compared a dude to the Biebs… Oy.)
March 2010
13 posts
I just found an old high-school crush on Facebook and looked at his photos. He mostly has photos of his kids. I thought, “Hmm, his kids would be cuter if I were their mother.”
I am a creep.
boys + cats →
My favorite new blog. I have to resist the urge to squeal when I see most of the posts.
20 Secrets Men Keep →
From Marie Claire. This one is not a secret and is also why I don’t have a boyfriend—because dudes act like becoming bf and gf means the girl is ready for marriage (get over yourselves!):
“We are afraid of commitment. Commitment means that I’ve decided that the woman I’m settling down with is perfect and there is no one else out there for me. Commitment means I’ve...
well EXCUSE ME
This morning a man rushed on the subway and literally cut me off to get the last seat. It was unreal. And THEN once in the office, another dude cut me off to get into the elevator. I don’t have a boyfriend because so many guys apparently have NO manners—and that is a major turn-off.
“Maybe…you’ll fall in love with me all over again.”
“Hell,” I said, “I love you...”
– A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemmingway (via fuckyeahliteraryquotes) (via healthyaddixion) (via walksinbeauty) (via marymarywhyyabuggin)
boyfriend prerequisites
Last Sunday at brunch, I drank approximately five cups of coffee. I did this because 1) I love coffee and 2) a cup of coffee at Sarabeth’s is $4, so I wanted to get my money’s worth. So then I was kind of loopy on caffeine. And then I said something along the lines of, “I want a dog! And a baby! And a boyfriend! In that order!”
I don’t have a boyfriend because I...
WatchI think the fact that I posted this trailer for the next installment of the Twilight saga is explanation enough for why I’m sans boyf.
Observations on Desire
goodeggs:
nogreatillusion:
I fall in love with men who know how to describe women. Certain men are bowled over by the details - chipped nail polish, sly grins.
I once heard a boy call a girl “a darling” in the most sincere, admiring way. “She was old-fashioned,” he said. I’ve wanted to be a darling ever since.
I want him to be able to describe me when I’m gone. Even if the description is...
this afternoon on gchat...
me: the conclusion is that I have to live in NYC until I get married—b/c all the guys everywhere else are married or engagged* already.
Lacey: HAHAHAHA! I think you're probably right.
(*misspelling intentional)
We don’t have boyfriends because we aren’t bobo—that’s apparently a requirement for some guys.
February 2010
1 post
thedeadline:
skidder:
The Worst Newscast Ever http://tv.gawker.com/5475814/
OMG - this is from our hometown. Is THIS why we don’t have boyfriends???
January 2010
9 posts
Laurel: EEEEKK - OMG! Ahhhh! (Excited squealing and clapping ensues)
Lacey (Running out from her bedroom): What? What's going on???
Laurel: Pregnancy Pact! Ahhh! Pregnancy Pact! EEeek! Oh, Lifetime....
Lacey (Returning to her bedroom): Wow.
things you should never say to a man →
This “article” is pathetically obvious. And yet, I may or may not have talked about getting married to a boy I’d been dating just a few weeks… oopsie?
heh heh.
revolting or ingenious?
Oh my gaw. Pretty sure the Girlfriend Keeper App (which lets a dude program his girl’s name, number, eye color, birthday, etc., and then sends her texts and e-mails with absolutely no input from the dude) is a little bit of both.
Beware of bozos who might actually use something like this.
I don’t have a boyfriend because I go for guys who are unavailable—either literally (there’s a girlfriend in the picture); emotionally (he acts like a little boy when it comes to dating—ahem, Third-Grade Scott); or geographically (he lives somewhere far, far away… like, um, Ohio).
Someone call Steve, ASAP! →
I’m slowly realizing I have more in common with these “Tough Love” boot camp girls than I’d like to admit. That’s why I don’t have a boyfriend.
25 Signs You Have Grown Up
ilikeyourwigjanice:
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. 6. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.” 8. You...
December 2009
19 posts
Watchthedailywhat:
Movie Trailer of the Day, Too: First official teaser trailer for Sex and the City 2.
In theaters May 28, 2010.
[via.]
I die. I don’t have a boyfriend because I am WAY too excited to see this movie.
Married Jonas Brother Says Sex Not Worth the Wait →
ilikeyourwigjanice:
thismightsuck:
crowth:
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Just days after tying the knot after years of abstinence, Kevin Jonas of the pop sensation the Jonas Brothers stunned his teenaged fans by announcing that “to be honest about it, sex was not worth the wait.”
“After we did it, I was kind of like, that’s it?” Mr. Jonas told reporters at a New York press conference.
...
“Having the right word is much more satisfying than just sleeping around with any...”
– FakeAPStylebook
Fake AP Stylebook knows what’s up and so do we…. wait, I’m confused: Are we in need of boyfriends or a thesaurus…?
I don’t have a boyfriend because I am too preoccupied with a guy who is not going to turn into a boyfriend. And even though I know he won’t, I can’t help myself.
“Ew, there are sweat marks on this sweater. Whatever, I’m still wearing it.”
– Laurel
We're gonna do some X
We don’t have boyfriends because we say this—not referring to ecstasy… referring to Gas-X.
hmm...
Me: We have a blog about why we don't have boyfriends!
Guy we just met: Is that why you don't have boyfriends?
“When the power hour is over, then it is mingle drunky face hour.”
– anonymous roommate
Sounds like the words of a girl about to land herself a boyfriend! N’est-ce pas?
gchat between roomies
Laurel: I'll punch you in the nads!
Lacey: I'll tell my nads to retract.
No explanation necessary. Or maybe explanation is necessary, but there's really no explanation for this ridiculousness.
“our new trainer, Bernardo, absolutely kicked the crap out of @mark_salling and...”
– frankenteen
This is from the twitter of Cory Monteith, a.k.a. Finn Hudson on Glee. He says “vom.” Pretty sure we are meant to be. (I mean, he did say “I” when it should’ve been “me,” but I can teach him the objective case… soul mates should complement...
from an anonymous cousin...
Last Friday, Kimble asked me over for a hot tub party. We start making out, and he asks if I want to stay over. My response: No thanks. My heat isn’t working well and I don’t want Sidney to be cold and alone. Kimble: So what you are saying is that you would rather hang out with your cat? Me: Yes. I guess that is what I am saying.
I don’t have a boyfriend because I have not...
the Love Actually effect
Lately, I’ve been finding myself smiling at lights and Christmas tree stands and cheery store windows and thinking, “I think I could fall in love very easily around Christmas.”
Maybe I don’t have a boyfriend because I think about it too much.
Isn’t Andrew Ross Sorkin just totes adorbz?!
Of course, judging from the fact that Andy is a brilliant New York Times reporter and Too Big To Fail author, not sure he’d be into a girl who throws around phrases like “totes adorbz.”
Oh, and there’s also that teeny detail that he’s already married.
